NOT comma rules

First, let me begin by saying that even though I teach English, I do not judge people based on their speech. (I didn’t say I don’t judge; I just do not judge based on speech.) I honestly love to hear the different dialects of English, which can vary widely even within a small region. I make a point to tell my students that when they go home, they are not to correct their grandmothers. For putting up with them, Grandma (Granny, Nona, Yaya or whatever she goes by) has earned the right to say what she thinks however she wishes to say it. In fact, I sometimes use incorrect grammar depending on the context simply because it would sound odd and out of place to do otherwise. In other words, there is grocery store English, the English you use at Winn Dixie or Piggly Wiggly (yes, for those “not from around here,” those are real stores), and then there is job application English, or what we in the business call Formal Standard or Edited English.

And speaking of editing, one of the things I most often find in student papers is a complete and utter lack of understanding of comma use. I do not really know why since commas, just like periods, have rules about when and where they are placed. Yet, students (and my buddy Roger) struggle with commas.

I said I do not know why, but I think I actually do. Students simply do not learn the rules, or at least they do not learn all of them. Instead, they substitute their own willy-nilly rules. So here is my little diatribe about the three NOT comma rules that I have discovered students most often employ.

The emotional comma rule: 

Student: “I put a comma there because I felt like it needed one.”

Emotions are generally NOT what you want to use to make any decision. Think about the times in your life when you let your emotions decide for you. Yeah, there you go. So do not place a comma somewhere just because you feel like one is needed. 

The artistic comma rule: 

Student: “It just looks like it needs a comma there.”

Sorry, but your aesthetic choice for placement of commas is as flawed as the emotional commas. Looks, as the saying goes, can be deceiving. You cannot decide comma placement by looks. 

The respiratory comma: 

Student: “I put a comma there because I paused and took a breath.” 

While this looks like a rule and is related to a reading guideline, this is not how you place commas. Somewhere in your early academic journey, maybe second or third grade, your teacher was helping you learn how to read. Along the way, he or she began to coach you on how to read with feeling and cautioned you to slow down or pause at a comma. But just because you pause at a comma when reading is not the reason it was placed there. 

Let me draw an analogy for you. When you drive, you stop at stop signs (or at least you better). But, when you stop do you get out of your car and plant a stop sign in the parking lot, your driveway, etc.? Of course not. In the same way, while you might pause at a comma when reading, you do not put one where you pause when reading what you are writing. You might pause at a different spot than I would because your natural speech pattern is different than mine or maybe because I just climbed a flight of stairs. 

Beware of these three rules that are not really rules. Just like periods, commas have rules for their placement. After all, hardly anyone above the first or second grade just places a period where he or she feels like it. They use rules to place periods at the end of a sentence or with an abbreviation.

Just as periods show an end, in English commas generally separate or set off things. Depending on how you slice them, there are about ten comma rules, including using a comma to separate items in a series, using a comma to set off a noun of direct address, using a comma after an introductory element to separate it from the main clause, using commas to separate parts of an addresses or dates.

If you are interested in learning or at least looking at a list of comma rules, since I’m not going to list all of them, here is a source I direct my students to for all kinds of English grammar and writing help: https://owl.purdue.edu/ No, I do not get a royalty for sending you here. I am just doing my part to help you develop some “comma sense.” (Now that’s puny.)

Happy editing!

P.S. There’s a comma usage error in the blog. Did you catch it?